So Messed Up

My life is a mess right now.

All my energy are getting used up every fucking day. I am tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I am suffering from pain that nobody would’ve understand. These past few days have been so hard and inexplicably painful for me. I had my fair share of pain but this one’s different, different that I can’t just put it into words. I have been dealing to million possible things running in my mind and it is exasperating.

A friend, one of the closest to my heart, had cost me everything. The reason? It is because I am senior to her, that I am part of a certain peer group as well as her and that she is having the time of her life moving on from a heartbreak. I feel like I’ve been robbed and ambushed and played and stabbed and cheated, I feel everything and it’s so ridiculous. I feel disgusted actually that after everything that I did for her I’ve got nothing in return but this.

We were in the same school organization and that creates the conflict, we were all in it, her, her ex and me. Funny it was to think, that the guy she’s jealous for was actually her ex-boyfriend and for Pete’s sake is my friend. Our folks “mediated” over the issue and took sides and so I left.

I left not because I was not sided but because I knew I did not do anything wrong, not because I am guilty of a crime but because they won’t listen, not because I want to but because I knew I am unwanted. Now, it’s not as easy as I would have it but I can get through. I will because I can and I can do it alone. I don’t need pity or sympathy or anything. And I’m sure as hell this too shall pass and I will be thankful because I’ve come to know who truly my friends are.


15 Signs You Have A Friend You’ll Keep For The Rest Of Your Life

I have! I have!!!!

Thought Catalog

Many friends come and go in life, but if you’re lucky, you’ll have a good one that sticks around for the long haul. Your best friend is someone you can share everything with. They know your darkest secrets, your deepest fears, and they can tell what you’re thinking before you even know that you’re thinking it. Here are 15 ways you can tell if you’ve found a friend for life.

1. They keep you laughing, even when you’re supposed to be serious. Even if something is not funny in the slightest, you two can crack each other up at the drop of a hat. This proves to be very inconvenient when it’s inappropriate to laugh, such as in the middle of class, a work meeting, when you’re being reprimanded. Regardless, one of the most important parts of life is being able to find humor in anything, or really, everything, and any friend…

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13 Truths About The Kind Of Woman Who Is Worth Pursuing

I am too worth pursuing, definitely.

Thought Catalog

Carmen JostCarmen Jost

1. They aren’t the easy girls. They aren’t the ones that wait around for you or make you a priority the minute you come into their life. The kind of woman worth pursuing doesn’t drop everything for you just because you happen to be there. They make you work for it. They wait until they get to know you and can tell you will be a good thing for them. Then they open up.

2. You’ll never be the only important thing in her life. I’ve dated women who make their whole world revolve around you and it never worked out because at the end of the day, I don’t want someone who comes in second place in her own life. Every relationship should strive for self-sacrificial love, but it’s not self-sacrificing if you never value yourself to begin with. This is why I date women who…

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It is Valentine’s Day and I am happy

“Thank you, God!”

I uttered as I walked home from a thank-goodness-non-cliche V-day date. I felt my heart becoming fluffy and light, thanks to the gentle rain this evening though. No, seriously.

I came from a nearby fast food after one frustrating exam on Taxation. I was on a planned date but with plus. I was with two more persons, since we’ve already planned this, on our V-day date table. In front of us was two orders of BFF fries, a choco mousse cake, soda & ice cream and bunchy stories. We have thrown each others our life views and accounts for several hours (if 5 hours could still be considered as several) I guess.

Aside from eating, I really enjoy talking a lot. Maybe because I am really loquacious plus I tend to express myself well through talking. And today I talked endless and restless yet I felt really, really happy. I can feel eyes sparkle every single time I listen to the stories laid on our table. And none of us seems to be bothered of the time because we have so much to tell. I really enjoyed tonight.

Thanks to Raymond, Ayra and Russel for giving me so much to remember this year’s Valentine’s day. xoxo.

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15 Things All Badass, Fearless Alpha-Women Do Differently From Other Types Of Women


Thought Catalog

Shutterstock / brickrenaShutterstock / brickrena

There’s a quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich that states: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” It’s a often posted on Pinterest boards and slapped onto cards with women in 1920s-fashion kicking up their heels in unison. But for me, this sentiment is more than encouragement to go on a girls trip and go wild; it’s a celebration of women who choose to be defined by their courage, bravery and decisions to go after the life they want to live instead of being confined by “appropriateness.” Call them bold, fearless, or powerful, these are women who light up a room with their magnetic energy. They intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who have long hungered for tangible proof that they, too, will serve themselves well by igniting their passions and relishing in their independence. I know a few of them very well and they have changed my…

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10 Signs She’s A Lady And Not Just A Girl

Becoming a lady as it is.

James Michael Sama

If this is your first time being exposed to my writing, I feel the need to preface this article by saying that probably 80-90% of my blog posts are focused on men and how we, as a gender, can be/do/act better in life and in love. So, save the ‘sexist’ or ‘woman-bashing’ comments please – that is the polar opposite of what is about.

Since, though, there has been such a frequency of those types of articles lately, I wanted to turn the tables a bit and discuss the woman of today. The woman who wants the gentleman. The woman who wants to be shown by the right man that we are not all the same. The woman who wants to hold herself to higher standards and be an equal teammate to the man in her life.


Just like there are standards of conduct to be met in order…

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