A Countdown to Seventeen

A month before my birthday I’ve been thinking of three things : beauty, friendship and an untold love story. All of these concerns me and these three has the most complicated question running on my mind.

BEAUTY – is a noun which qualities give pleasure to the senses or exalt the mind

I must admit, I’m no beauty queen but still I am beautiful 🙂 But what I can not figure out is how people see me, I mean what is wrong with me? A short tanned lady with those dark brown eyes, not-so-thick eyebrows and a smiley face. And in fact, I don’t even know and I don’t even care what beauty from their prospective is. What’s bothering me is how can I figure out what beauty is. How can you tell that a person is beautiful? Is that if she had looks, if she had a sexy figure, if she is famous, if she’s intelligent or if she is kind? Actually I don’t know, all I know is this, beauty is how we define ourselves wonderfully created by God above. 🙂

FRIENDSHIP – one is attached to another by respect or affection or is acquainted

I am so lucky to have wonderful friends around me and the people that considered me as friend in the past even until now. I am blessed with people whom I treasure the most, love the most and to whom I offered my time and affection but in the irony, hurts me the most too. It hurts me at times when I’m becoming an option, a second choice, a reserved player, it really hurts me badly. But my friends who hurt me was just so true and strong enough not to make me hope for meat instead of fish. Its just simply stating that not to all people you are that important. There are only rare incidents that you’d found a person worth keeping a lifetime. And if you do, don’t ever let it go. Do not let time dictate us to appreciate what we’ve once had.

Lastly, my very own love story. It happened years ago but still I can’t find myself forgetting that. Actually it is not a real love story because it was untold. Until now feelings are not expressed, affections never showed and love remained unspoken. He is not a typical guy who just simply attract girls’ attention by pure looks. He is kind, rude at times, funny, sweet, gentle, clever, a black belted guy. He is my friend,my closest boy friend who turned to be my crush then my first love. Lately he’s been through all my dreams that is why our memories together suddenly flashed back. Memories of how he is to me, how he treats me, how he hid his jealousy to me, how he unconsciously made me fall in love with him and worst how he distorted my heart. Though I’ve been in relationships after him, he’d never left my mind. If only I had the courage to tell him that he is the one I truly love, maybe I am not bothered until today of how I’m gonna plan to escape this unspoken feelings I still have for him.

My life is one of the wonderful things I’ve been thanking of through the years. Another year had passed and a new one has begun, another breath taking moments to cherish and new set of people to meet. My life is perfectly imperfect that is why I love it. Changes happens in one dramatic moment so take time granted, enjoy every second, laugh a lot, cry a little and love over and over again like we’ve never been hurt before. 🙂

I have a wonderful year and I’m wishing for another great year . Thanks God .

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EverAfter

Never make any decisions when you’re angry and never make promises when you’re happy .

I must consider this philosophy of mine wise because it truly applies and sometimes we would only realize when the result of what we’ve done were wrong. Either being angry or happy is a state of mind, these emotions is a matter of choice. You can be happy if you want at the same time you can be angry it will only depend on you and you alone not on any circumstances.

Decision making is a thing which we don’t realize that we are already in it. Even after waking up we have to make decision if we’ll gonna rise up the bed or go to sleep a minute more. And it is important to have a composed mind to be able to make a sound decision. We could not make a sound decision when we are under control of fierce emotions. Same as making promises which are often believed to be broken. We should not take advantage of being happy just to be believed that we’re gonna make up for our promises. Sometimes its better not to make an oath to do something, its best when we are making it not for the sake of promises.

This philosophy is my own belief and its not from any other reasons. I made this to be my guide for my daily living and for me to be reminded of how important my decisions are and that it will affect my lie. And making promise for me is a measure for my dignity and personality.